I am a new woman…understanding now moreso than ever, the infamous statement by more seasoned women throughout life…”if only I knew then…what I know now.” At twenty-seven years of age, I am blessed to know as much as I do. Some can argue, and I might also, that knowing more about the world, life and society is not always the most life enhancing. At the same time, it is extremely.
In developing, the more I have come to know has taken away from the overwhelming feeling of certain emotions… submitting to Darwin’s theory- of survival of the fittest –growing to be numb is the way most people learn how to survive. The ethical ramifications as it pertains to life is…just how healthy can this be? Regardless of health issues- I did it. I’m doing it everyday. I am three weeks from completing a Master’s Degree in Urban Affairs. Touche, your remark…is “so what…” or… “congratulations…but lots of people do that all the time.” The growth has come as a result of more recent experiences not specifically from obtaining a credential.
So what exactly are the lessons learned? (A special thank you to all of my amazing friends – you have been my life coaches – you all deserve a gold star – I really appreciate you)
1. I define me: If I can help it, I will never in this life allow anyone to make me feel as if I have less to offer than what I know about who I AM…and what I can do. I will not be defined by the title held within any organization or company or even life role. I shall not succumb to your opinion of me. Screw you. Manipulators… be aware– you have a lot of growing to do- Good luck.
2. The importance of boundaries: The true testament of self-discipline stems from the ability to create an organized agenda and stick to it. External factors will always persist. It is important to understand that those who you love and those that love you will be supportive, even when stating: no, I am not available. At the time, it may not be appreciated, but in the end– fear can not rule this decision. The only person responsible for finishing what is necessary is me. If boundaries are set, those that love you will still remain at your side.
3. Self trust: Guilty as charged. Lacking faith in personal decisions is most detrimental to happiness. Accountability for actions is dependent upon me. I am fortunate to have many beautiful people in my life, offering support and guidance, some by request and others voluntarily. Some of it GREAT… and reflecting, some of it pretty awful. The only one that knows the outcome is God, but the only one required to live it is Andrea. Thanks mom for consistently being diplomatic in your approach when discussing life and all it has to offer. You have given me untouchable skills to think through events and challenges and see light at the end of a dark and narrow tunnel. Also, you have encouraged me to tap into my heart and to ‘trust my gut.’ For this (and of course for life and everything else about you), I am grateful.
4. Best Friends: “When God brings you to it, he will bring you through it…” but sometimes, so will great friends. I always thought I was a loner. I’ve learned that when it comes to friendship, the amount of time you’ve known someone certainly can not be the foundation for granting this privilege. I love those that have my best interest at heart, even if it means I get six to ten calls/text messages a day (when I’m trying to study) just to see how I am doing –more specifically when I have to shut the phone off and don’t return your messages, it wasn’t taken as a personal attack. A good friend of mine stated: “That friendship will not always be equal…” but what is important is presence when the time comes. This two year rotation of my life did not fly by— at all. Thank you. THANK YOU. Thank you. I love each and everyone of you for your positive thoughts and encouragement and for your love and support.
5. Love: It doesn’t wait. It just comes knocking when you least expect it and further when you really don’t have time to deal with it. Ambitious women seemed to be faced with this decision at least once. I knew this already, but something has got to give for all the people of this world that long to be loved. Occupy your time and forget about it, I promise you it will show up inconveniently. My very best friend has also been the love of my life. A lot of growth has come from his presence, guidance and support.
6. Self-Destruction: Alcohol, cigarettes and other contraband (NO DRUGS OF COURSE) do not serve as beneficial in the end. I’m still trying to figure what my positive vice will be to assist through rough patches. I worked really hard to achieve certain goals. I am overwhelmed and a little angry with myself for splashing gasoline on my efforts and even moreso for lighting the match. Like Dori says in finding Nemo: “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” Having submerged a thousand leagues under the sea, once, twice, three times… four? Each time I am thankful to surface and breathe, this time however, I can reflect and say…”WHAT THE HELL?” I make my life more difficult then it needs to be… and it just isn’t worth it.
7. K.I.S.S. (Keep it simple stupid): Applying the fundamentals of Earth Science and applicable on so many levels, I am guilty of avoiding certain tasks or responsibilities whether it be something to complete or just for Andrea.
Mr. Thomas a.k.a Dad told me a while ago, that I am my own worst enemy… subtly he has also shared that– conforming to social standards is unnecessary and life is all about happiness…make it happen. Well, that’s what I’m gonna do. Not that I have EVER lived life according to the rules, and yes… I do pride myself in that, I’ve learned that I am so tired of living for what I think is the right thing to do versus what I actually want to do. Hey, this falls into the category of self-trust… but really the goal here is to trust that I can succeed in life by doing what makes me happy and setting the priority of developing a core– and then radiating through life from it.
8. Positive women: Thanks be to God for the positive women of my life. These women have loved me enough to say on some level… Andrea… “you got it going on…” I have learned so much from you. That’s not to be taken for granted. It wasn’t until recently that I learned just how many women do not even have this in their lives. Overwhelmingly it brings me to tears to know that I am blessed with so many. Thank you. I love you.
These are but a few of the many lessons I have learned on my continued journey…
