I totally dig it...

Here I am sitting in my new apartment and I totally dig it. It's my first weekend to myself to walk around and experience the neighborhood---I'm completely speechless...ok maybe not, since I'm writing this blog :)

Empowered Women... (a satire)

I am an empowered woman. I am so empowered...that I forget to be courteous. I forget to say thank you when someone opens the door.

I am so empowered...I walk around with hair under arms in my tiny tank top. I refuse to feed into society's definition of hygiene. I'm so empowered, I refuse to cover my mouth when I cough, or excuse myself when I belch. I am woman. HEAR ME ROAR.

Just so you know...I purposely carry my purse with my elbow sticking out so noone can pass...they need to know... THIS is my space and if to pass, I shall not kow tow, you will simply have to walk around.

I am so empowered, if someone says hello as I pass, I hold my head high... or stare blankly without reply. It is not ok to talk to me. I am an empowered woman.

I'll sing as loud as I please... in my apartment, on city buses, on trains... if you dare seem the least bit interested...I will sing louder, so you know...your thoughts don't affect me. I am empowered, yes you see.

I'm so empowered, I will smile in your face and pretend my life...is A-OK to all around me, with the exception of those beneath me...noone cares about the way they feel... Why should I?, I'm empowered...right? I'm so empowered, I don't believe I have to change. I don't believe change is necessary. Who needs growth? This man better pick up my tab... who does he think I am... I am too classy for that. I am so divine, can't you see I'm an empowered woman... I bought these $1300, shoes...so really you owe me...you owe me because I look so fabulous... I'm empowered. YES...ME! I live in a shell...a bubble.

I am an empowered woman.

note: This is everyone woman who was too strong to admit they were really just acting like a jerk.