Week 7: Love and Other Odds and Ends

Happy Valentines Day!!! :)

Love is in the air as spring is on the horizon. Depending on your relationship status, great friends or love of self you may have plans for this February 14th.

In years past, I used to proclaim that Valentine's day was just another hallmark holiday meant to satisfy capitalist America. I'm not so oppositional these days or seemingly bitter because I have lots of love in my life and even moreso a firm appreciation of those I love. In fact I am at peace with romantic love, love of the self, love of friends and family.  Its a big statement considering there was a time, I thought I was broken or unable to feel it... I've lightened up a bit in my years and thankfully my family no longer refers to me as "hard hearted Hanna." I was ruthless and not boastfully so. Love was professed and I just couldn't reciprocate. In fact, one day a former boyfriend from college said those three magical words and I had planned to call it quits on that very day.

Burned.

I felt really bad and I can assure there was no mal-intent - he was sweet as pie... it just wasn't working out.  He's happily married now and a Neurologist, and I have no regrets because what looks good on paper isn't particularly the best thing for long term commitment.

If you've noticed in this blog-spot, I rarely mention love because, well--- I was in a relationship and having a public view can be a little tricky and if it's one thing that was learned from an early age (11 to be exact), it's that everyone has an opinion on the one you date. The reality is that no-one is able to understand the connection between you and another.
Unless an opinion is solicited, there should be no comment--so shut it otherwise be prepared to swallow that advice. Sometimes friends are there to set the record straight and other times the information provided is the most awful, hypocritical and even damaging advice, so beware. All in all, you should still consider how your significant has been portrayed in the light of the important people of your life----or really, who you're asking. (Do they have their wits about them, Are they happy?) Think about whether you represent your love to the best of your ability or whether you believe that a fair assessment could be conducted based on the information provided. If accepting bids on people's thoughts... take it with a grain of salt---use your brain, use your heart and always trust your gut!
 
Love for another is absolutely beautiful, special and amazing.  Better than that is loving yourself...  I can agree with the following quote:

"It is better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all." 

 

Of course, there are times when love sucks---and you just want to scratch out the eyeballs of someone just for the sake of having to deal with the enormous amount of ehem, shall we say GROWTH!?  But all in all, if its right... and I don't mean socially acceptable, I mean if its right for you-- cherish it and be willing to go to war for it because wouldn't you want your partner to do the same?
 
If you're planning on having a hot and steamy date night, keeping it low key with some wine and chinese food or just snuggling next to someone you care about, even your pillow while watching your favorite romantic comedy...enjoy your day! Valentine's day doesn't have to be overrated... or a bummer...or just another capitalist holiday--it can be the one day you OUTWARDLY proclaim your emotion to the WORLD about the ones you love...including yourself while all the rest of the days keeping it central amongst each other, where it should be.
 
Cheers to love.
XOXOXOXO

evol

...But the real question at hand is why does love make me angry? Why would love make anyone angry? What is it that I must humbly submit to the realm of emotions? What intentions must I develop to truly embrace love? I am in prison... Incarcerated from the soul. Chained and whipped by self sorrows... Savage...laying in the corner shaking... ACHING to break free. Angry... pointing fingers in every direction but me. Living, Loving and Learning life- A fruitful one at that.. BUT- What must I sacrifice to set myself free? I reflect upon the days when I was just me... when what I rejected was the popular belief. High hopes and dreams flourish above the horizon to destination CEO- as natural life urges are surpressed by the calculation of my 401k. My independence is turning into an A-Sexual Reality when it comes to love.. and at the end of the day the only one left holding my hand is me.

Numb, limp and cold is what I have become to beautiful masculine hands that gently caress- and soft passionate kisses tickling the small of my neck..My security blanket to keep safe and warm- when I need to escape... even me...

Roll call to all my ladies...

Roll Call to all my ladies...

Upon taking inventory among my lady friends, I've noted my girls are in need of a re-up on sisterhood. I travel deep with the most fabulous, delightful and absolutely gorgeous women... TO BE EXPECTED ;o)

My circle of sisters.. This goes out to you. I love you. You are my friends till the end- Beautiful, Positive, Confident, Creative and Ambitious. DON'T you ever forget these five fabulous traits that make you- YOU and then some! It is 2008 and rejuventation is on the rise- and although some of us don't get to see each other as often as we would like- KNOW- This support system will always be with you- AND if we as friends don't continue to remind one another just how amazing each of us is... we may just lose sight.

Broken hearts... but wounds will heal with time. The bitter taste of stagnation is merely a temporary experience for growth and personal development. I feel this among quite a few of my friends. That amazing glow is looking jaded. This is a reminder to you-to remember you have got it going on my girl... And if forgotten, will be lost in translation. Open up your heart-open up your mind- re-kindle your spirit. Surround yourself with positivity and SCREW the bastards that even challenged you to look harder at yourself-only to mask the flaws and insecurities within him.

Be EMPOWERED to take steps-WITHOUT looking back and wondering about your safety and security. Continue to be true to your words and cancel ties with those who aren't. Ain't no half steppin in my life...for sure.. and the same notion applies to you.

And for love... My girls... Those lost in love, waiting for love and banning love... Let go. Love HARD- You've got LOVE!! You've got friends, you've got family and best of all sisters. For the infamous words of Sommore (Queen of Comedy) "I don't need to find LOVE, I love Jesus, I love my family and I love ME... What I need is respect.. and I LIKE, WHO LIKES ME..." I heard this a little over a month ago and I was floored- So true.. and yet so easy to forget. One day I sat with myself and declared to my orange- " I REFUSE TO WONDER WHY ANYONE.. wouldn't jump at the chance to be with me..." and however cocky that may sound.. I could care less... because I know what I have to offer and so should you my crew... We are single, eligible, educated women on a journey.. and if a man ain't with it... Please escort him to the door..

My girls... You are amazing and this is my promise to you...

Love Always,

Andrea