Week 3: The Wealth of a Network

six degrees of separation has become much smaller

Utilizing your network could be the ticket to your next job... who do you think did it all by their little lonesome?  Everyone has got someone to be thankful for at some stage in life. With the ever-increasing use of social networking sites, the task of reaching out to people in your network is much more readily available-- from facebook to linkedin....even a general google search-- your point of contact is literally at your finger tips.

"I don't know what's wrong with you..." a friend once exclaimed-- "you've got all of the resources, and yet you're stuck in this rut, I just don't understand it."

However not so nice that may come across, this friend wasn't wrong.  I've been a true goat in thinking that I was going to do all of this by myself- I've been too shy to ask for letters of recommendation- even too shy to ask the people that I know for advice--until recently.

Last night while having a glass of wine with my roommate, I grew a little backbone and started to browse through the linkedin network suggestions. Low and behold I added someone who I thought went to high school with my sister and that I saw this summer at my cousin's engagement party.  I was completely wrong, but without apology, if I were in design, I would've hit the jackpot and he is a second connection--meaning that I could actually stumble upon him at a real live social event--the odds of that are not as slim as I might've imagined. Six degrees of separation is now something like three.

Why do we become afraid to extend our networks? Fearful of seeming too pretentious, or fearful of rejection? I mean come on--- admittedly the current position I hold has done some damage to my level of confidence in the professional realm, but why in the world should I be that timid?  I have been a part of numerous leadership trainings since the fourth grade and even in the student senate in kindergarten--- pfft. Elected for task forces and policy groups...who the hell is anyone in the organization where I work to tell me what I have to offer or don't based on a grade classification.

Stumbling upon this new contact and his willingness to accept me --even on the merit of the organization I work for means a lot to me, because it made me realize I have nothing to fear but fear itself.  On top of that, I have an extensive---extensive group of successful people in my direct network that would actually be happy to support me in any future endeavor as long as I reached out and shared my plan. So why not? The most debilitating portion of my journey has been the inability to be specific with my professional goals and desires.

Recently, while reading a book on women and finance, an assignment was given to write down all desires, everyday for two weeks straight-- I haven't followed through with this, because tapping into that part of me is something I've been avoiding and I can no longer stand it.  The other day I submitted an application to a fellows program and I, for the life of me...couldn't talk about what I wanted without freezing. I promise, my blood pressure even went up, which affected my entire ability to produce. How can this be--- staring at the barrels of two guns... in the middle of a crossroads and each side brings with it an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Its my life and I can do as I please and yet won't name it to all of the people that could make it happen? Industry upon industry is laying in front of my doorstep, an orphaned bundle of joy... I suppose I can understand the saying-- "the smart one has got the brains...the dumb one has got the balls..." At least I'm not dumb, but what's that got to do with anything if I won't utilize my network and market my full potential.